aspiring to humility

I've been wanting to write about humility for several weeks now but have been stalling.  The truth is, thinking about humility theoretically is good, but it is not enough.  Writing about it is not enough.  Every moment I spend time pondering the extraordinary quality of humility, I feel called to turn my thoughts into action, to move from the cerebral to the practical.  And while humility is a quality I want my life to be defined by, I realize that there are no short cuts to becoming humble.  From my experience, the best opportunities to actually practice humility hurt.  We can practice humility when we've been wronged or treated unfairly, when we've been misunderstood, when we find ourselves clinging to the applause of some or shrinking at the disapproval of others, when we are faced with the choice to assert ourselves or put others first.  All of these opportunities and many more like them seem to have one thing in common: they come in times of difficulty.

hu-mil-i-ty 

noun        

a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness

Humility is beautiful, but it is not weak.  Humility is not to be mistaken for low self esteem or an inferiority complex.  In fact, the portrait of humility I find in the Bible, especially in the person of Jesus, requires immense strength of character and an ongoing commitment to choose love every time. The bible issues a wild challenge to every follower of Christ:

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:  Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death --even death on a cross!  (Philippians 2: 5-8  NIV)

Humility requires of us.   

It requires forgiveness, mercy and kindness.  It requires self-control and a willingness to step down in order to elevate others.  It requires speaking softly or not at all, when it feels more natural to raise our voice and be heard.  It requires listening, caring and for most of us, it requires a lot of practice in consciously choosing to do the hard thing.  

I wish it were otherwise, but the practice of humility does not come naturally to me. I constantly struggle internally with things that work against humility:  insisting on my right to be heard; my over-concern with what others might think of me; my desire to set the record straight, to be understood and accepted; my tendency to put myself on centre stage rather than being content as supporting cast. 

And so.... I've been praying A LOT.  I've been asking God to help me change my mind, to help me choose to think and respond differently than what comes most natural.  The bible has a really cool term for this whole process, it is called the "renewing of your mind."  In Romans 12:2 Christ followers are encouraged in this way:

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is --his good, pleasing and perfect will. (NIV Romans 12:2)

There are different ways to understand the phrase "pattern of this world" but I think the easiest way is that it simply represents the road that most of us travel naturally and easily:  the ME-first road.  In this verse, I think believers are being challenged to choose the hard way -- the way that requires a different model of thinking, literally a new mind on the matter.  And as for what is God's "good, pleasing and perfect will," that can be answered easily:

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8 NIV)

Oh goodness!!  Even as I read and write in this moment, I let out a heavy sigh.

I have such a long way to go in this process.  And the hardest part of all is that practicing is really hard.  Am I willing to commit to this kind of rigorous training?  Is the outcome, a life characterized by humility, something I am willing to keep in my sights?

If I truly want to walk daily in humility, I know it means facing difficult things.  It means summoning the courage to invite opportunities, submit to this growing process, and to remind myself:  Don't just think about it.   DO IT!

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words and images (unless otherwise cited) © copyright melody armstrong 2016

fresh starts...happy 2016

My favourite moments of the Christmas season are those I spend alone or with loved ones, reflecting on God's gifts in my life.  The most immeasurable, indescribable, invaluable of all being God's gift of Himself to me -- to all of us. 

He is the gift of fresh, new beginnings; the gift of forgiven mistakes, forgotten pasts, and clean slates.  He is the gift of freedom for our souls.  

A couple thousand years ago, at just the perfect moment -planned before the beginning of time-

God did the impossible.  He became small.

The creator and mastermind behind all that we might wrap our wildest imaginations around, willingly inserted Himself into time and history, in the form of a helpless baby, born to a peasant girl who was engaged to a carpenter.  And His birth was announced to the shepherds, of course.  God lit up the heavens with stars and angel-choirs singing -- a show for the lowly and lonely and overlooked.  

This is what God always does.  He comes to those of us that want and need him most.  

He becomes small enough to be born in us,  if we choose to make any room at all for Him in our own soul's manger -- right there in the mess of it all.  

And then the Miracle grows in us.  God fills us and spills out of us.  We get to be transformed daily, if we choose, because the Creator is lovingly at work within us.

And just like Mary, who said "yes" to being a vessel wherein Christ could dwell, we have the same choice to make.  Are we willing to say yes, even the tiniest yes, to having God dwell in us?  Are we willing, even when we don't know what it means, when we're afraid, when we doubt, when we're confused and lost in our messy lives, to say yes?  

If we are, if we're willing to make any room at all for God in us, I can't help but believe that we might finally experience a widening of our imaginations and catch a glimpse of Christmas' true meaning.   

May 2016 be a year for fresh starts and saying "yes" to the best Gift of all.

Love and Hugs,

Melody

H A P P Y    N E W    Y E A R   T O   A L L    O F     Y O U!!!!     FROM ALL OF US!! 

all words and images © copyright Melody Armstrong 2016

an open heart

“It takes courage to push yourself 

to places that you have never been before...

to test your limits...

to break through barriers.

And the day came when the risk it took 

to remain tight inside the bud 

was more painful 

than the risk it took to Blossom.” 

― Anaïs Nin

It's always safer being closed.  But is safer, better? 

My husband and I have been pondering the questions again....the ones that keep popping up when relationships get stretched and worn thin.  Is it really worth the pain to keep caring, to keep trying?  Is it possible to somehow be impermeable to hurt and disappointment, and still maintain an open, tender heart?  Or, should we just accept pain and hurt as the inevitable cost of choosing to maintain certain relationships? 

I've been watching this sunflower in its slow and careful unfurling to the world.  Its destiny is to bloom - to open up and boldly share its radiance.  I'm certain our hearts are destined for the same, regardless of how vulnerable it makes us feel.

There is no guarantee that our relationships will turn out the way we'd like, no matter how hard we try or how good our intentions may be.  Still, I think it is right to keep risking, regardless of the cost. The willingness to be tender and open in relationships, to share our truest selves with the world,  allows for the possibility of an amazing miracle to occur...the unfolding of something shockingly beautiful.  

words and images (unless otherwise cited) © copyright Melody Armstrong 2014

first frost

this photo taken by Garth Schimpf --thank you for noticing....and sharing your creative eye.  

Everything was shrouded in a blanket of minuscule, frosty icicles when we woke this morning.  Wasn’t it just four days ago that my friend and I went out for a walk and ended up swimming in the river because the sun was shining so warmly we just couldn’t resist?

I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised.  A frost like this can occur at any time.  I experienced a little frost (and melt! thankfully) of my own this summer.  It was just hurtful words, but let’s face it, they really are worse than sticks and stones sometimes.  And as soon as they landed, I felt a chilly, white coolness spread right across my heart ---that frosty protection that deadens the senses and takes a little of the sting away.  

The only problem with a heart-frost is that it is not selective. Allowing that coolness to spread wide and thin means losing all the warmth.  This is not the inner climate I want to live with -- no way.  So I prayed for a melt.  I prayed for warmth and sunshine.  

Before I knew it, the beautiful thaw began----and there laid my heart, the frosty white in shadows, melting in sunshine patterns till all was green again. 

Maybe it’s not coincidence that just two days ago my blog randomly posted a little piece from the past called “winter white forgiveness.”  Although I have no idea how it happened, I see how beautifully it connected to my thoughts today as I looked out over my backyard and saw the real-life melt, right before my eyes.

The warmth of God’s grace is a mighty and miraculous thing!  

p.s. if you live anywhere near me, don‘ forget to cover your plants tonight.  Haha!  

words and images (except where cited) © copyright Melody Armstrong 2013

still lovely......

 I saw this flower on an evening walk and loved it so much for all of it's glorious, ragged, half spent beauty.  

I wish I could have brought it home still preserved in it's luminous  sunset glow, and propped it up on the dresser beside my bed to remind me that HERE IS BEAUTY - IN ALL IT'S IMPERFECT PERFECTION. Then surely I wouldn't forget. Again.  

And all the days when I am so hard on myself and feel like I just can't get it right, I could see this piece of gorgeousness and remember what I KNOW WAAAYYYY DEEP DOWN IN THE FIBRES OF MY SOUL:  that I'm still lovely...covered in God's love and forgiveness. 

But I do forget.  Over and over and over.  I am still so hard on myself - even over small things.

I can be my own toughest critic.  Add to that the criticism of others, and it's a wind strong enough to send all my delicate petals flying right off the stem some days.

But God sees me so much differently than I see myself.  He is never hard on me the way I am....but instead, he favors me with his love and freedom.  He cherishes me unconditionally.  He calls me His own.  

One scripture from the Bible that speaks so tenderly to my soul in times like these is Zephaniah 3:17:

"The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save;  He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." (NKJ Version)

He sees this wildflower that I am, this vision of frailty and beauty wrapped in one, and rejoices over me with singing.  He bursts into song at the sight of me.  Imagine!!

The crazy truth, so simple yet so mind-boggling, is that my sins aren't enough to diminish His love and my strengths aren't enough to earn it.  NEITHER MY SINS NOR MY STRENGTHS ARE ENOUGH.  

BUT GOD'S GRACE, that unearned gift of love that he offers every single, longing, wildflower-of-a-soul that turns to His gaze --IT IS ENOUGH.  ALWAYS.  

Words and text © copyright Melody Armstrong 2013.

This is Love

My Jesus.

Stepping from

 eternal throne

He humbly chose

a woven crown 

of 

thorns and hatred

intertwined

made to pierce

and mock

by hands He had created.

THIS IS LOVE.

Should it surprise?

when hanging from

the splintered

bloody beams

by hands and feet

nailed firm

that all creation

trembled

splitting time

in two

with humble 

love-soaked cry

"Father, forgive them

for they know not what

they do."

THIS IS LOVE.

And though we nailed him there

blind in our hate

lost in ourselves

He chose then

this posture 

for us

of open arms 

stretched wide - embracing

and He still does

THIS IS LOVE.

As surely as He chose to die

He rose alive. ALIVE!

and though he

conquered death 

and always will

he still 

chooses

to make us free - 

free not to believe

and in our hearts

leave him

on the tree.

THIS IS LOVE.

words and images © copyright Melody Armstrong 2013

winter white forgiveness

What if, right in the winter of our souls, we saw it......the beauty and purity of the dazzling forgiveness that Christ offers to wash us in?  

 And what if, right in the middle of that icy frozen state of our own unforgiveness, we experienced a melt?

...and the frozen hurts, preserved over the long soul-winter,  started falling away...one drop at a time, till just our tender hearts were left?

What if, in our own process of being forgiven and forgiving others, we found freedom to flow, a fresh water stream, clear right down to the bottom of us? 

AND WHAT IF...in the words of the lovely hippy urban girl:

"...she remembers that beauty rises up from the ice shards of life"?

May your winter soul, and mine, be warmed by the pure beauty of forgiveness - both given and received.

With love,

Melody

photos and text copyright©Melody Armstrong 2013